1...2....3....4...1...2... COUGH AHHH I dont know how to breath

I went running with James. Me + Running = hacking up a lung
Running with a chest cold isn't always the smartest thing to do.
I woke up and my legs hurt and my chest was furious with me.
BUT I feel amazing .... happy excited to be running again.
I forgot how much I loved it. The rhythm. The counting.
I have to count. 1234 1234 1234 . It's calming. Its how I figure out
to breath. Running clears my mind. There is something about running next to a guy.
I like.
Yesterday at work guess who put out 95 cases of toys.
I DID PICK ME PICK ME
I was like a freight superwoman. I was pretty proud. My head is inflated.
I have a lot going on a lot going through my mind. A lot to think about.
A lot to remember.
A lot to forget
I know I said I had stopped freaking out so much.
Which is partly true.
But I still have that glimmer that voice in the back of my head.
You are cheating. Your pretending. DOUBT. DOUBt. DOUbt. DOubt. Doubt. doubt.
:( I hate feeling like that when this is the best thing in my life.
I question every little thing because this is way to good to be true.
I worry.