Story of fantastical updates

Once upon a time Keim met a boy. The boys name was Vanbeck. At first they were just friends. Then Keim fell madly in love with him and he in return fell madly in love with her. They talked on the phone for hours everyday sometimes reeking havoc on cellular telephone bills. They spent thousands of dollars on tickets to send them soaring through the air at ridiculous speeds to see each other and FINALLY they decided enough was enough they wanted to just be with each other for ETERNITY...
So...
They set a date....

April 21, 2011

.... and that was that :D

Pretty soon Keim gets a new last name.

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS :
165 DAYS

Falling in all the right directions

Sometimes answers to prayers fall into place like puzzle peices.

Things that have been such obstacles ...

... are working themselves out.

LOVE KEIM

I miss him terribly.

I love him fully.

I can not wait until I see him again.

I count down the days...

Only 51 days left .

1 word - HOPE

PATIENCE

A fly lands on a window pane
Tick Tock. . .
A place I may never see again
Tick Tock . . .
The thing I want out of sight
Tick Tock . . .
It lingers in that dreadful light
Tick Tock . . .
I know that I must learn this test
Tick Tock. . .
Before I too can start my nest
Tick Tock . . .
Scriptures open at my feet
Tick Tock . . .
Learning things at the creators beat
Tick Tock . . .
Always racing a bit to fast
Tick Tock . . .
My heart doesn't understand the pain won't last
Tick Tock . . .
Right now is all that my mind can think
Tick Tock . . .
But that idea too must sink
Tick Tock . . .
My heart is full of lasting fear
Tick Tock . . .
As my eyes produce another tear
Tick Tock . . .
With out it I am lost it seems
Tick Tock . . .
but with it I will feel His radiant beams
Tick Tock . . .
And so I must continue to progress
Tick Tock . . .
So that I may also pass this test
Tick Tock . . .

Flashbacks ...

Memories ...

Fresh cuts ... scars.

A million cries for help pushed into the night sky.

No vibrations .

The only thing that is perfect is the

Silence .

Laughter penetrates the sadness

Not her own.

Can't let go

Nothing disappears for her

a kalidescope of events create an image

a shape

creations of

attitude, thoughts, feelings, emotions

that change her .

That break her.

J

U

D

Gements

are made. Without understanding. Without pondering

Without knowing anything.

...no one sees

HyPoCrit .

I haven't posted anything in quite some time and I figured I should drop a line.

I have learned some great things since we last spoke.

Forgiveness doesn't always end in friendship.

Love doesn't always last forever.

We can learn alot from the past and look forward to the future.

THE END

Tulips swirling up about
peaking heads out of amber drought
Sunlight beams cascading down
rejoicing without a sound
Revving engines at the gate
arriving just a bit too late
honking horns fill their ears
waving hands are what appear
words of glory embrace my soul
moving forward is my goal
endless warmth engulfs my heart
dont look back its time to restart
tutus puff around my waist
what an awkward tulle case
familiar faces to brand new
laughter is the only clue
empty picture frames on the wall
pink keeps echoing its call

Have you ever found yourself questioning everything?
But being unable to answer anything?
. . . I have .
Its rather unfair.

When I was a young girl you showed me the truth.
And now that I'm a grown girl the truth is still truth.

When I was a young girl you showed me the light.
And now that I'm a grown girl its still shining so bright.

When I was a young girl and standing so tall
you told me not to pride myself, to humble myself, and fall.

And now that I'm a grown girl I kneel before you everyday
I tell you all my sorrows and the pain just melts away.

When I was a young girl and swallowed up in sin
I turned away from you but you just took my hand.

You loved me always and helped me endure to the end.
And now that I'm a grown girl you still my Father, still my Friend.

Mass Confusion.....
MASS CONFUSION...
sad.
Still Confused.
I thought this was happiness
For Both.



?


Well,
I try to stay bright
spirits up
BE POSitive
Try TO have faith
Pray
SMILE
so depressed
SO SCared
promises ...
promises to never hurt me ...
Im hurting...

BiRtHdAy SuRpRiSes

So I haven't been updating this ....

Because I don't have a computer ...

Because it diedededed....

so James is letting me use his...

He knows not of this....

YEsterday Be My day Of Birthing ...

It was a good day!

Filled with Pirate Island

and ToyStory

and Legos

and Candy

and Cake

... with candles

and fun

and James ...

and GLORY

AND SQUEEZE CANDY

and yum

and silly string

and animated films with animals ....

TINKER BELL MADE HER RETURN.

THE END

Fell to sleep with many many many pairs of eyes watching me.

New Years Resolutions So Far. . . late is better than never.

1. Work out 4 times a week.

2. Read all 4 gospels in one year. That is 7 pages a day baby!!

3. Cut out all revolting, disgusting, discriminating, vile, inappropriate music ( I'm talking to you Eminem, and the whole rap industry had better just watch out)

4. Be more world affairs aware. (Read the New York Times )

5. Do something to change the world every week.

6. One act of kindness daily

7. Daily Prayers

8. Stop worrying, over analyzing, freaking out, etc. JUST SMILE ALREADY

9. Run 6 miles by year end. In 60 minutes mind you.

10. Be a more christlike daughter, friend, girlfriend, roommate, co-worker, peer, example, sibling, etc.

11. Learn from the past but do not let it control my future.

12. Say goodbye to rated R movies forever.

Price check on prune juice Bob Price check on prune juice

These are some of the things that have happened in my life since I last wrote:

Currently : I am sitting in Heber. Where I have never been before. Thus far I have come to this conclusion: Heber + Bryan + James = Peeing my pants and crying tears from mine EYEBALLS.

*** TinkerBell an evil sleuth in trampy green attire can be far more devilish than she appears. As she came swooping down upon me on aisle 5 not only did she cause mass destruction to my aisle and help destroy 25 items of merchandise but she caused this intercom announcement:

FLASH FLOOD ON AISLE FIVE FLASH FLOOD ON AISLE FIVE.

How cardboard can break a plastic bucket thus spewing gallons of water down upon me is beyond me . However, the floor was left in a state of sparkling pine glow freshness.

*** I learned that when I ask myself what is happening to my face. I will shortly find out. It is not a good thing that is about to happen to me. It happens to me every month and yet I continue to NOT know what is going on.

*** When above thing happens I turn psycho. . . sometimes.

*** James is brilliant .

For putting up with above psychoness.

But he is Radient not brilliant. However, sometimes I think he is brilliant .

Like when he asks me how I am doing and then when I say fine, he tells me I lie.

Or when he texts me goodmorning and good night everyday.

*** I also learned how much I like to run. I forgot about that incredible feeling that I get afterwards I forgot about how the pattern of 123 can change my life. I forgot about how awesome it makes me feel. I ran 3 miles in 30 minutes. I felt bomb. I felt incredible. I felt untouchable.

*** Chad, James, and I put mentos in coke. I saw a frothy explosion of soda right before mine eyes.

*** James and I beheld the glory of Avatar in 3D on an IMAX theater. I want to be a Navi. I want to live in Pandora. Reality is stupid.

*** I feel that the United States Government disgusts me and is far more self serving that I have ever realized before.

*** Sometimes boys are so stupid. Sometimes girls are so stupid. Together we can be so stupid. So we should be more christlike unto one anothers short comings, try to understand the stupidity of one another and get on with the madness.

Learnings of 2010 thus far

I've come to learn some pretty amazing things recently. Things that have enlightened me and have helped me understand life in ways that before I could not.

1. Everyone has a secret life.

I know that this may seem like DUH but no, I just realized that many times people just are not who we initially think that they are. Everyone has this awesome mask. The difference between individuals is how well we can wear one. The most important aspect of this new fact I just discovered is: Never be jealous of anyone ever, or covet there life. Even the best person on this earth has skeletons in his/her closet. I have learned that as a friend, roommate, girlfriend, coworker, peer, or just fellow human being I need to be more christ like. I 'm trying to step it up a notch. I've learned a great deal about quite a few new people in my life. The information is an overload in my system and right now what I need to do is process it. Figure out how to apply what I have learned into make these people and myself better. What I do know from this experience without a shadow of a doubt is that the atonement is real. It's there and it's power is absolute and nothing short of a miracle. It is incredible and it's all based on a simple principle that we have all been taught from the very beginning of our lives. LOVE.

2. My Heavenly Father answers my prayers.

Once again something so simple yet has been such a powerful source of strength for me this week. I have prayed and fasted over the past few weeks. Heavenly Father he loves each of us, and I am so happy to feel this in my heart. I can't imagine my life without the spirit. Without knowing that I am God's child. That he knows me by name. I think it is amazing how the smallest everyday occurance can answer a prayer. How one word, one phone call, one gesture, one scripture, one person can change an entire life. Can shift an eternity from negative to positive. My eternity has been shifted :)

3. Forgiveness, Forgetting, Frustrations, Future. . .

I've come to understand that forgiving oneself is harder than it appears on black and white. I have come to understand forgiving others is so difficult for me that sometimes I feel that I can not do it. Without forgiveness however, I can not forget. I want to forget and yet I can not. It haunts me. I am more frustrated with my past than I ever in my whole life have felt .EVER. I can only say that I am trying to face the future one day at a time. Trying to let things go. Trying to be forgiving. Trying to use the power of the atonement that my brother so boldly gave me. Trying not to destroy the most amazing thing in my life.

4. Communication

Sometimes I need to stop being an idiot and just be like : Look! I am upset comfort me! Because when we play this silly mind/emotion game with one another both people get hurt. Both people have a lot of pressure on them. Both people end up confused. It's easier to just communicate. This way things work. This way things can progress.

4. Music

Music is a powerful way of communication. For me it too has always been an exceptional way for the spirit to be impressed upon me. However, this can also work in opposite effect. Since music affects my soul so immensely harmful, inappropriate music can take the spirit away from me efficiently. New Years Resolution #6 : Do not listen to inappropriate, degrading, disgusting, or down right awful music (IE Cut down the amount of rap especially Eminem in my life.) this proves to be a testing factor every day as I love that music. Not so much for the lyrics but for the beat. For the way it releases my anger. I am choosing to be edified though. I am choosing the spirit.

5. I love him

Scooters calm my soul.

Waking up to Julie cuddling with me is a good thing.
Waking up to Julie saying aha! Broccoli. Is a good thing.
Waking up to Rena thinking her alarm is going off at 330 AM is a good thing.
Waking up to my roommates laughing over scriptures is a good thing.
Waking up and waiting ...
and waiting ...
and waiting ...
is a bad thing .

Waking up to your texts is a good thing.
Waking up and feeling at peace is a good thing.
Waking up with a feeling of accomplishment is a good thing
Waking up and waiting...
and waiting...
and waiting...
is a bad thing.
Trying to not freak out is a good thing
Trying to remain calm is a good thing
Trying to be honest with yourself is a good ting
Trying not to communicate
and not communicating...
and not communicating...
is a bad thing.
Riding a scooter is a good thing.
Riding a scooter with the boy you love is a good thing.
Riding a scooter with the boy you love on a cool evening is a good thing
Riding a scooter with the boy you love while you are upset...
so upset ...
so upset...
CAN BE A GOOD THING .
Because you communicate.